The end of Dr. Nabeel Qureshi’s life in this world pours light on Psalm 116:15 for me.
Each time death claims someone I love, or someone who is loved by someone I love, I find peace in the knowledge that the Lord God sees the death of His children as precious.
Of great importance!
In grief, I always think of the Lord welcoming His beloved one home as though He is receiving a treasure that will be placed in suitable surroundings at last.
When Nabeel died, for the first time, I had a clear image of the heavenly treasure the King received. I saw a perfectly cut diamond with light shining from a thousand facets.
I saw a gemstone crushed by mining,
cut with precision,
and polished to perfection.
I think it may be possible that Nabeel surrendered his life so completely that the Lord was able to finish all the work He planned for this one precious life in just a few short years.
I often think about judgment, not fearfully, but curiously. I wonder about the timing, the process, the duration. I think about the Lord bringing to light the deep things I’ve hidden from myself. I think it will be a time of purifying, refining, and even detoxing. I am certain it will be a removal of all things that are contrary to the character of Christ. I regularly ask the Lord to show me stuff now so I don’t have to deal with it in the judgment.
Perhaps Nabeel is an exceedingly rare gem who passed through judgment completely while still in the body of flesh. I often wonder if that’s what happened to Enoch who walked with God and was not, for God took him. I wonder if Enoch had his own personal rapture because the Lord had nothing more to teach him in this world.
Of course Nabeel was not raptured. His body was destroyed from within by a relentless disease. I empathized with the spiritual battle he fought as he prayed for the physical healing that did not come, because I fought the same battle for years after I found a lump on my breast in 2002. I watched Nabeel’s vlogs with ambivalence when he spoke of those who were certain he would be healed. I heard that same certainty repeatedly as cancer ravaged my body through chemo, radiation, chemo, radiation, surgery, surgery, radiation, radiation, surgery, surgery. I can’t count of the number of times I received anointing, laying on of hands, and assurance of healing over the past fifteen years. And still I live with a terminal illness.
I watched Nabeel’s vlogs with hope when I heard that he investigating nutritional support. My healthcare providers are frequently surprised by my tolerance of and recovery after the damaging treatments that are normal protocol for cancer. I think my ability to endure and bounce back is, at least in part, a result of my effort to eat food as God made it. However, my hope for Nabeel was never in food. It was always in the God who loves him beyond my imagination, the God who continued to use him mightily even as his body was wasting away. I empathized with Nabeel because I know what it is like struggle through cancer with a hundred different people offering a hundred different solutions. For me that may be hyperbole, for Nabeel, it is probably a gross underestimate. Still I know how loving and well-meaning people can add to a burden they only want to relieve.
I watched Nabeel’s vlogs with deep compassion because years ago I reached precisely the same conclusion he reached from searching the scripture: It is always God’s will to heal. But even as I received sure knowledge that it is always God’s will to heal our mortal frames, I also received sure knowledge that healing these mortal frames is never His highest priority. That’s the comment I left on Nabeel’s Facebook page even as I continued to pray that we would see a miracle. I think I also shared what I learned of the relationship between faith and healing. Too many Christians have an idea that faith means you must believe that you will be healed without doubt, and if doubt creeps in you cancel the promise for healing. That’s another thing I can’t count: the number of times I was told that expressing doubt about my healing is the reason I still have cancer. (sad sigh)
I doubt that I will be healed, but I don’t doubt Jesus. He used cancer to deepen my understanding of faith, and whenever Jesus speaks to those he healed, I know to read “faith” as “faith in me”. Their faith in Jesus made them well. My faith in Jesus gives me peace and joy even though breast cancer metastasized to my liver and lungs. Nabeel’s faith in Jesus empowered him to pour out his life in service to the end. With the last of his strength Nabeel displayed to the world that his unshakable faith was in Jesus who is worthy of praise even if He does not heal in a particular instance.
Nabeel’s faith was unquestionably in Jesus and not in healing.
That perfect gem of faith in Jesus was buried in Nabeel’s heart long before he knew the name of the One in whom he believed. His faithful friend, David, mined that gem with truth for years before it became visible to others. The rough-cut stone was crushed through heartbreak as Nabeel chose to love his Lord more than his family. And even when the process of refining had only just begun, the value of the diamond was recognized by everyone who heard him speak of Jesus. In his final year, Nabeel opened his life to the world and allowed us all to watch as the Lord cut facet, after facet, after beautiful facet to reflect the love of the God who does not always heal, but who always suffers with us.
I don’t wonder why Nabeel died because I know the King has the right to claim His treasure whenever He judges the time is best to do so. Nabeel Qureshi joins the ranks of men like Oswald Chambers, Peter Marshall, and Jim Elliot. Their lives were all cut short, but they will continue to bless millions of people for generations to come in ways that God alone can understand.
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of Nabeel Qureshi.